When you...

...live away from home, for studies or work or anything,

you will experience a greater sense of appreciation

upon those that you hold dear~~

Been a long time~~

Awkward moment when you forgot which e-mail you use as your blog log-in.~~
Nope?! Just me then. That was, what, twice now. Only this time, I actually forgot the e-mail used. It's no wonder the e-mail I use for Facebook didn't work, no matter how many variation of my password I entered.

Well, in short, cramming/stressing/bookfacing mode was on. Thus in all plausibilities and ignoribility, if that's even a word, I am actually almost up-to-date for the preparation of the exam. They say this is not the best method to pass exams but it has been working for me, thus far. I know it is not as productive as you 'only' pass the exam and will undergo the possibility of not understanding the subject for future use. Not saying that I disagree, my Chem. ended in the gutter simply because I studied to pass the exam/test.

Starting form there I changed my method of studying to actually understand the subject. It has been working out but because I am not used to it, it has been time consuming and is not fast enough. So, I reverted back to my ol'method which is what I am doing now. I just hope what I revised and studied for simply sticks onto my brain and not be a '3 second memory'. But hey, you know what they say, "GOOD LUCK studying the information you'll never used for a job you'll never get after you graduate". I would say "Challenged Accepted!!".     =D

Though interesting stuff you'll find when studying;-

   - staring at a blank wall suddenly is way more interesting than illustrated books
   - random things that you do with writing utensils or arithmetic equipment whether you realise it or not
   - make errors in the calculation of you ability, just like so;

even saying so is a true story, however, I honestly have not reached the depression stage nor the acception stage. By the moment I reach the negotiating stage, the anger has already built up the energy meant for destruction into some sort of containment which in a sense raises my heartbeat putting me in an adrenaline mode. These, well I am entirely sure what happened, calms my mind, making me ignore the limitation of time which in turn allows me a full concentration and focus upon bookfacing. Just another way of saying 'Moutain Dew' is a friend ~ ~
THEN, when all going gets tough and the tough gets going, bla bla bla, and all's well that didnt end well, I will enter a whole other level of the Acception stage, the embracing stage. This is where I accept that I'm screwed, find alternatives to make up the grades (i.e. retakes  ** not a good idea so try not to do it but) and went on doing something else to distract me. Simply because I can't sleep with all this energy build up.


Ramblings, I don't think I speak fluent ramble in real life. The human mind is a wondrous thing, still doesn't make me feel like being a neurologist or was it a psychologist, a psychiatrist!! Oh well.


Though I did find this amazing vis during my luscious break~~

*** Live life to its fullest to never have to have regrets~~

Moments...

Arrrghh!!!!~~

I shouldn't  have started like this but since I don't scream in actuality.
It has been so long since I've access this blog.
(minus the fact that I forgot the log in) ...[^ _ ^]
Hrmmm... What to write, what to write.

Basically, some months ago I received news of my grandfather admitted into the hospital. It was a surprised and I was in shock. Moments later I managed to calm myself down, called my parents and heard that he was going to be okay, still in weakened state and have to take it easy (so no smoking [^_^] ), but okay nonetheless.

After that, not directly 'after' but took place after the event anyways, it made me think. LIFE IS SHORT. I'm sure we have realised this and know about it, but really, LIFE. IS. SHORT. I mean, scientifically speaking, we are humans. One shot to the brain, a stab to the heart and we as humans would die. A very fragile being indeed. It is safe to say that any foreign object that approaches us humans could possibly be fatal.

A week ago, I receive news that I will have to travel back home. Thus I will not be able to finish my A-levels in the UK and grad. with close friends. It certainly sucks but thinking bout it more, it'd be good to be close to family again. During these final days, I'm not dying just the time left before my flight, I'm recalling the times that's gone pass, the decisions that's been made and what has become of me. The moments that I've experienced. All in all, I thought 'it's not so bad', it definitely is not perfect and could have been better, but 'it's al'right' and 'was well spent'. I've managed to meet many different people, experience different weather and living conditions and see the many different 'routes' that many of the people took. It certainly was interesting. There is a saying in the Malaysian culture; "jauh perjalanan, luas pengetahuan". It states that the further you go/travel, the more you'd learn/experience. I'm not saying that it made me smarter or that it hasn't, but it certainly satisfy my curiosity. IT WAS EPIC.

So yeah, moments. Thinking about it the word relates closely to time. Whether it was well spent or not is not the question. I guess you could say that in actuality, those moments that we have experienced are the building blocks that had made us what we are now. So, it doesn't matter if you had waste the time available performing unnecessary actions because bottom line, it is what you have gained from the moment you realised that you had wasted those precious seconds. To put it simply, "be not afraid of making mistakes, as the important matter is what you've learnt from it".

Even saying this there is no telling what would come from our actions. We can only believe that we have allocate enough time thinking about the steps to take and simply TAKE a step. As "the act of doing something is always better than idling".

I guess it all comes down to what we have become from those moments we have experienced until this point in time. Whether we chose to observe what unfolds, to simply move in any direction present or to simply become stronger and more confident.

Me : Let's see what unfolds, then 'Imma take those necessary steps, hopefully with confidence, and move along the path I've chosen'.